


My dearly beloved

by IgnoctForeverEtchedInMyHeart



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Chill XV, M/M, Sadness, dealing with death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 16:20:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11971095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IgnoctForeverEtchedInMyHeart/pseuds/IgnoctForeverEtchedInMyHeart
Summary: The moments before the king's funeral. Ignis is struggling to cope with losing the one person he holds most dear.





	My dearly beloved

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came to me yesterday and I had to write it. Hopefully I've done it some justice.
> 
> It breaks my heart to see Ignis so defeated T.T
> 
> I hope you like it.
> 
> Please let me know what you think ^.^

Ignis fumbled with top button of his shirt. How long had he been trying to dress himself now? Ten minutes? Thirty minutes? Maybe even longer than that, but thankfully Prompto had only checked up on him twice. He was glad that his friends had allowed him some space.

However, his fingers still trembled and his breathing remained strained and uneven.

How was he going to get through today?

For the first time he was glad that his eyesight no longer remained. At least by not seeing the service he could remain in denial.

Noctis wasn’t gone.

He couldn’t be.

It wasn’t possible.

A single tear rolled down Ignis’ cheek as his body shook. With his legs growing ever weaker, he reached out to steady himself against the bed but mistook the distance and tumbled to floor.

With no motivation to stand he curled in on himself and thought of the futileness of his denial.

His king was dead.

His own life no longer had any purpose.

Ignis’ entire life had been built around Noctis. Day or night, no matter what time, Ignis would be there, without fail. 

He’d cherished Noctis with his entire being and now being left behind for a second time, his world had crumbled.

“Damn it! Damn it all!” Ignis cried, as he thumped his fist on the floor. He had expected pain but he felt nothing. Ever since Noctis had departed, his own existence had been a never ending numb sensation. Sometimes, he had wondered if he was just stuck in a never-ending nightmare.

Ignis listened closely as he heard the door swing open accompanied by Prompto’s panicked breathing. 

“I heard… a bang… several bangs…” Prompto panted. “And I – Oh my god, Ignis. Are you alright?!”

Ignis should have known that Prompto would have been concerned. “I’m fine, Prompto,” he responded, trying to calm the man who had been closest to Noctis and who had grown to become one of his own most trusted friends. 

Ignis let Prompto assist him. It was something that had become increasingly more frequent of late. After all those years regaining his independence, following Noctis’ passing, even the simplest of tasks become ever more difficult. Once he had been helped to sit on the bed, he felt Prompto’s quivering fingers attempting to finish buttoning his shirt.

Ignis swallowed and hung his head. He wasn’t the only one hurting and yet, he was the only one creating issues for the others. How he had fallen from the man he had used to be.

“Prompto… I’m sorry…” his voice wavered.

“Don’t be,” Prompto sniffed, as he proceeded to retrieve Ignis’ tie and looped it around his collar. “We all feel it… everyone’s… well, you know…”

“Indeed,” Ignis whispered, it was the best he could manage.

“To tell you the truth, I’m not sure how the fu-… I-I mean the ceremony…” Prompto corrected. A lump formed in his throat. “I’m not sure anyone will get through it without crying…” Prompto smoothed Ignis’ collar down then sat beside him. “Earlier, I noticed Gladio had been gone for a while so I tried to find him… It took a while but I found him in the throne room, alone… I’ve never heard him cry like that before…”

Ignis could only imagine. Gladio had never been one to show emotion, especially not in public. He’d been known for his anger slipping, but most didn’t realise that the once shield also had a softer side. He cared. Sometimes too much. Gladio was full of passion and kindness but it was a side that very few had ever been allowed to see.

“Tell me… where is Gladio now?” Ignis enquired, glad that his mind had something to focus on.

“I’m here.” 

Ignis stilled at the unexpected response from the doorway. He listened as he heard Gladio’s heavy footsteps manoeuvre the door, closing it and approaching him. The former shield took a seat on the bed the other side of him.

“How you holding up Iggy?” Gladio asked, in a raspy voice. 

Ignis clasped his hands together. “Truthfully, I’m trying not to think about it.”

Gladio let out a little hum. “And how’s that workin’ for you?”

Ignis remained silent for a few moments. Why couldn’t he be allowed to remain in denial? Unlike everyone else, he didn’t have to see the ceremony. After a few uncomfortable moments, he realised that neither of his companions were going to speak, so he finally relented and uttered, “Not too well…”

The three men sat there together in silence. Ignis was certain that the other two were just as apprehensive about the looming ceremony as he was.

“I don’t know what to say…” Prompto admitted. His voice was lace with toned of regret. “I’ve had time to prepare a speech and yet, there’s nothing that feels right…”

Ignis nodded. He was in exactly the same situation. “The correct words are sometimes incredibly difficult to find… I for one have failed…”

“And here I was thinking you were the only one of us who knew exactly what they would say,” Gladio said, without thinking.

“No, I-“ Ignis fought back the tears that he could feel building. “I can’t… It would be wrong…” His voice was hoarse. 

“Why?” Prompto asked, curiosity abundant in his voice.

Ignis hesitated for a moment. He’d never told anyone of his feelings and it was his only regret behind not finding a way to save his king. Knowing he owed Prompto an answer he replied, “because… Noctis never knew…”

Gladio laughed. “Oh, he knew.”

“Yep. You didn’t hide it very well from him, Iggy,” Prompto joined in. It was clear to Ignis that Prompto wore a smile.

Ignis’ heart froze. Noctis had known of his feelings and never said anything. “Can that really be true?”

“Uh huh. That much of a surprise to you?” Prompto asked.

“Well I…”I Ignis tried to continue but he couldn’t find the right words.

“We all knew. It had been obvious for years now,” Gladio confirmed.

Ignis felt like a dagger had pierced through his heart. “Then why did he never say anything? An acknowledgement? Or a polite decline of my affections?”

Ignis scrunched his eyes together, in hope that the tears would not fall again before the ceremony but they betrayed him. 

He let his mind wonder to the past, to the last night that had shared together. They had shared so many memories together and it was only in hindsight that he realised just how close they had been. How Noctis had smiled at him, like he had no other. The way Noctis would always gravitate towards him. The way Noctis would ask him not to leave…

The king had tried to tell him and he’d missed it.

All those years and Ignis had never once noticed that Noctis had returned his feelings. It was too much to take.

Ignis cried out the name of his loved one. He accepted that he’d lost all dignity. Composure was unnecessary now that he no longer served the crown. “I missed it… how did I miss his feelings…?”

“Hey Iggy… I know it’s a lot to think about but on the last night at camp, remember when Noctis spoke to me and Prom alone?” Gladio started.

Ignis nodded, unable to respond.

“He asked us both one last request…” Gladio took a deep breath but it was Prompto who continued.

“Noct asked us to look after you… he knew you’d react like this… Iggy, Noct… he… he said it…” Prompto trailed off.

Ignis didn’t need Prompto to complete the sentence; he knew exactly what his friend meant. The pain in his chest felt both soothed and intensified. All this time, Noctis truly had felt the same way. “In that case… I loved, _love_ Noctis too…”


End file.
